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  As they left the town behind, Asa slipped his arm around her waist, half lifting her, helping her to quicken her step.

  Her pulse quickening with her pace, she finished silently, “I just hope I know enough to help her.” We should just have brought them home sooner, she thought.

  *

  Soon Judith burst through the cabin door and found Colton sitting beside his sister, who was lying in a soiled quilt before the fire. The sight increased her concern from a simmer to a boil.

  She turned to Asa, whose expression begged her to take charge. “Asa, bring down the spare pallet. I’ll get the kettle filled with water and start it warming. We need the steam. Colton, stand up and wipe those tears off your face. I’m going to take care of your sister, set her right.” Her brave words were for the child and for her. God, help.

  Asa sprang up the ladder to the loft and hurried down with a bedroll. “Keep her by the fire?”

  “Yes. Unroll that pallet and we’ll lay her on it.”

  The little girl moaned as Asa gently moved her onto the pallet.

  “What can I do?” Colton asked, wringing his hands.

  “Pray,” Judith commanded. “Asa, get him some food and milk. I don’t want two sick children. One is enough.” She ran into her room and brought out a chemise. Soon she had the child out of Asa’s sweat-soaked and probably rain-soaked shirt dress and into the fresh, much-too-big but dry chemise. She went to a shelf and brought down her mother’s medicine chest.

  Returning to the fireside, she paused to examine the little girl more completely. Flushed face. High fever. Coughing. She listened—was it croup? No, but definitely congested.

  “Is she going to die?” Colton asked, his voice shaking. He sat in the corner by the stone fireplace.

  “I don’t think so…”

  The boy burst into tears. “I shoulda come when you asked us.”

  “Boy, you aren’t old enough to have to care for yourself and Lily,” Asa said.

  Judith wished he’d softened the rebuke, but it was the truth.

  “But I’m all she’s got,” the boy wailed and turned away.

  Judith knelt by Lily and applied camphor to the girl’s neck and chest. Then she began bathing the little girl’s face with alcohol to lower her fever. “You’ve got us.” She hazarded a glance at Asa. Would he repudiate her words? No. And in his usually closed face, she glimpsed a flash of stark worry.

  *

  The next dawn glimmered at the windows. Stiff, Judith sat in the rocker where she’d spent the night. She had prayed all night and ached from sitting. A few times over the long hours, Lily had surfaced from her fevered delirium and had been able to sip broth and willow bark tea. Yet her fever still raged. Colton slept in the corner by the fireplace, wrapped in a blanket. The scent of camphor hung in the air.

  Asa climbed quietly down the loft ladder. “Is she better?” he whispered.

  Touched by his concern, Judith couldn’t help herself. She held out her hand to him.

  Though ignoring her hand, he went to the chair near her and sat down. He repeated his question.

  She drew her hand back, trying not to show disappointment. “I think it’s influenza. I can tell her body aches from the way she moans whenever she moves. I’m doing my best for her. But it’s bad. Yet it should run its course, and then I just need to make certain that in her weakened state, nothing else gets the best of her.”

  “Lily’s gonna be all right?” Colton sat up, rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

  “Mrs. Brant is doing her best,” Asa replied. “Judith, I’ll start the coffee. You sit.”

  “Please, Asa. I’m tired of sitting. I’ll make the breakfast. But we need more wood, please.”

  Asa motioned to Colton. “Come on.”

  Judith’s hand still longed for Asa’s reassuring touch. When would she learn not to reach for him? He was a caring man—or the children wouldn’t be here. Why hadn’t she been born prettier? She blinked away tears. She had no time for them. She must be thankful for what she had.

  *

  The boy followed Asa out into the chilly morning and over to the woodshed. Asa loaded the boy’s arms with short quartered logs and then did the same for himself. Seeing the girl sick had stirred past scenes in his mind, ones he had tried to forget. Even in the midst of a war, the death of a child had moved all his men to pity. He blinked rapidly as if he could banish the image of standing mute at a graveside, a very small grave.

  “Colton,” he said, his voice coming out harsh, “you two will not be going back to that cave. You can’t take care of Lily all by yourself. Not even for the summer. And in the winter?” Asa shook his head no.

  Colton took a step back, his expression fierce.

  “Storekeeper told me what happened to your family. I went to the Smiths’.”

  Colton jerked backward as if Asa had shoved him. His face twisted with a combination of fear and anger.

  “Don’t worry. I wouldn’t leave a dog with that man.” Again he couldn’t stop the harshness in his voice.

  Colton just stared at him. “Is that where you got the kittens?”

  Asa gazed at the child. “Yes.”

  Colton nodded. “I thought they looked like our cat, Sadie. You won’t send us back to him?”

  “No.” Asa led the boy the short distance to the cabin. He wouldn’t take him back to the Smiths. The children had to be taken care of, but was he the man to do it? “I will not let Smith or anyone else who…shouldn’t have children take you. Trust me?”

  Colton looked up at him just as they reached the door. And paused just a moment. “Yes, sir.”

  Asa pushed open the door and let the boy go in first. Asa felt the weight of this new responsibility settle over him. But what choice did he have? He was an empty shell. He was not fatherly in any sense, but he could protect and support these children just as he did Judith. These children wouldn’t suffer more. Might even be a family close to town that would be better for them anyway. A family with two loving parents.

  *

  For the third night in a row, Judith sat in the rocker, wrapped in a blanket. Lily remained delirious with fever and moaning.

  “Mama,” Lily muttered. “Mama.”

  The simple word ignited inside Judith, and the same words echoed in her heart. Weren’t there times when they all wanted their mothers? Somehow one’s mother was the person who could set everything right.

  Judith unwrapped herself and slid off the rocker, onto the wood floor. Feeling the warmth emanating from the child, she began to bathe Lily’s face again, trying to evaporate the heat from her skin. Afraid of pneumonia, Judith had elevated Lily’s head and shoulders with a bolster.

  “Mama, Mama,” the little girl moaned.

  Tears, held back for weeks, flowed down Judith’s face. Mama, I need you. I’ve married a man who doesn’t love me and probably never will.

  She swallowed down the tears, drawing on her well of faith in God’s strength. Dear Father, I’m doing all I can. Please let this child live. Her brother will feel so guilty if she dies. He did his best to protect and provide for her. Forgive me for not overriding Colton and just having Asa bring them here. I didn’t know what to do. And Father, teach me how to be the wife Asa needs. He’s caught in some trap I don’t understand. Give me Your compassion.

  Then the little girl began to jerk, thrash, her eyes open, unseeing. Judith pressed her hand to her heart. Convulsions. What to do? She repeated the phrase over and over.

  Then, frantic, she got up and carried Lily outside into the chill air, the girl jerking in her arms. In the moonlight she ran to the pump and, laying the child down, began to pump water.

  It worked. The cold water shocked the child’s body. Lily stopped convulsing. Judith pumped a few more times and then heard the cabin door open.

  A tall form, Asa, moved toward her. “What is it?” He nudged her away from the pump.

  She held up a hand. “That’s enough water. Carry her inside. Take her back near
the fire, but not on the pallet.”

  He obeyed without question.

  She ran into her room and grabbed another clean, dry chemise. Back in the main room, Asa retreated into the darkness.

  Judith stripped off the sopping chemise and tossed it behind her. She heard Asa lift it and hurry outside. She quickly dried the now shivering girl and slipped on the fresh chemise. The cold water had shocked the girl out of convulsions. But would this help her or make her sicker?

  Chapter Six

  “Ma’am…ma’am?”

  In the dim morning light, Judith sat up, alert, and looked down.

  Lily was gazing up at her and appeared to be in her right senses.

  “Lily.” She dropped to her knees on the pine floor and felt the girl’s now cool forehead. Relief sighed through her. “Your fever’s broken.”

  “Thirsty,” the little girl whispered hoarsely.

  Judith immediately rose and fetched the water dipper. She supported Lily’s small shoulders and helped her sip the water.

  Lily drank it all and then collapsed against Judith. “My back hurts.”

  From all the lying. Judith set down the dipper and helped Lily sit up. “Do you think you can stand?”

  The girl tried and was able to pull herself up with Judith’s help.

  Colton stirred from his place by the fire. He sat up and rubbed the sleep from his eyes. “Lily?”

  “Col…ton.”

  The boy shot to his feet and scrambled to his sister. “You’ve been sick.”

  “Yes, but her fever’s broken at last,” Judith said. “I’m going to help her sit in my rocker so she can watch me make oatmeal for breakfast. You’ll like oatmeal, won’t you, Lily?”

  “Yes,” she said, and the girl’s stomach rumbled.

  The two kittens pranced over to see what was happening. “Oh, kitties,” Lily cooed.

  Each moment that showed Lily’s recovery set Judith’s spirit soaring. Thank You, God. Thank You. She helped Lily onto her rocking chair, draped the blanket over her lap and then turned to Colton. “Sit and talk to your sister.”

  “He’ll come with me. We got to bring in wood,” Asa said as he came down the ladder from the loft.

  Colton left his sister and went to the door. The eager-to-play kittens leaped into Lily’s lap.

  Asa paused by Judith. “Her fever broke?”

  “Yes.” Resisting the urge to draw nearer him, Judith lowered her voice and continued, “But she’ll need careful tending to recover fully.”

  Asa nodded and then led Colton outside.

  “Ma’am, I’m hungry,” Lily said.

  Judith rejoiced. “I’ll have breakfast done right away.” She hurried to the kitchen and began the routine of preparing the morning meal.

  Feeling battered by the past few days, Judith had nearly reached for Asa again. She stood a moment to steady herself, regain her bearings. Her gruff husband had gone to that wretched cave and brought the children here. He’d gone to the Smiths and returned with two kittens. Actions spoke louder than words, she reminded herself, and forced herself to begin humming to cheer Lily, to cheer herself.

  *

  Only a little over a week had passed, but Lily, getting stronger day by day, was standing beside Judith, who had measured her for a new dress. One kitten played around the little girl’s feet, rolling on its back and batting at the frayed strings that hung down from the girl’s ragged chemise hem. This little girl and her brother were becoming dear to Judith. Was that a mistake? Her husband gave her no indication of what he wanted in this situation.

  “I haven’t had a new dress since…” The child’s voice trailed off.

  A pang around her heart, Judith silently filled in the blank—“since my mother died.” “Well, we’ll be going to church this Sunday, and you both need Sunday clothes.” She and Asa had missed last week because they hadn’t wanted to leave the children, and Lily had not been well enough yet to go to town.

  “Church?”

  “Yes. You remember church, don’t you?” Judith asked, feeding the rosy pink fabric under the bobbing needle, listening to its metallic rhythm.

  “Is it like everybody in the schoolhouse? And people singing?”

  “Yes.” Judith paused in pressing down the foot treadle. She heard hoofbeats and looked out the window. “We have company.” Noah Whitmore had come. Why? Was it about the children? Or something completely separate? Well, either way, the children would be discussed. Feeling herself frown, she smoothed her forehead.

  Lily sidled closer to Judith.

  “Don’t worry. I see that the preacher is come to call.” Judith touched the thin little shoulder. “And Mr. Brant is here. He won’t let anyone hurt you.”

  “He’s strong and big, but he doesn’t hit me.”

  The comment squeezed Judith’s heart tighter. She had a thing or two or three she’d like to say to Mr. Smith. Instead, she rested an arm around Lily. “Let’s open the door and greet the preacher.” And hope he’s not here to suggest you go elsewhere.

  The weather, now nearing May, had warmed, but intermittent April showers had kept them inside while Lily recuperated. She was still too thin and pale, and she tired easily. Judith opened the door in time to see Noah Whitmore slip from his saddle and meet Asa and Colton in the shadow at the barn door.

  She wondered if perhaps Asa had sent word to Noah concerning the children. Asa had been to the store a few days ago. Again her husband might have done something without talking it over with her. Was that the way of most men? Her father and mother had always discussed matters at the table over coffee. But perhaps that wasn’t common. She clamped down her displeasure at not being consulted—if this was to do with the children.

  “I’ll put a fresh pot of coffee on!” Judith called out, hoping that would bring the men inside so she could hear the purpose of the visit. She sweetened the offer. “And I have cinnamon cake.”

  “Be right in, Judith,” Asa replied.

  Soon the two men and Colton were washing their hands outside the door.

  After setting the coffeepot to boil, Judith had hurriedly brought out a carefully folded, starched tablecloth and napkins for their guest. A visit from the preacher was a special occasion. The kittens sat on the floor at the end of the table, watching all this with eager anticipation, in contrast to Judith’s apprehension.

  By the time Noah entered, doffed his hat and hung it on a peg by the door, the fragrances of coffee and cinnamon filled the air. “Morning, Mrs. Brant.”

  She observed his concern at seeing children here with them. Of course he had known the Farriers and recognized the children. The normal courtesies of a call were observed, and soon the three adults sat at the table with cups of steaming coffee and the cinnamon cake on plates. Grim-faced, Colton sat next to Asa, while Lily huddled close to Judith.

  Noah finally nodded toward the children. “I see you have taken in the Farrier children.”

  “Ned Ashford filled me in about their parents. That you left these two with the Smiths,” Asa said, going straight to the point. His tone and expression announced he wasn’t happy that this man had left defenseless children with Smith.

  Noah sipped his coffee, obviously waiting for Asa to proceed.

  “Visited the Smiths.” Disapproval flowed into Asa’s tone. “Won’t take the children back there.” His face set in grim lines. Then he told of the cave and Lily’s illness. Lily rested her head in Judith’s lap.

  Asa’s concern for the children touched Judith, but she tightened herself against reading more into this than she should. Asa consistently put himself beyond her reach, but that had nothing to do with his good character. She stroked Lily’s silken blond hair, trying to reassure her silently.

  Obviously troubled, Noah appeared to weigh his words. “I, too, had reservations about leaving the children in their care. But it was deep winter, hard travel out so far, and I thought they could stay there until we located family for the children to go to.”

  Asa’
s expression did not lighten.

  “Did you find any family?” Judith asked, trying to offset Asa’s disapproval. She should have been happy if family had been found for the children. She should have been.

  “The letter I sent was returned to me with a notation that the person no longer lived in the town. So I sent a letter to the Illinois postmaster of the town explaining the situation and asking about the Farrier family.”

  “What did you hear?” Judith asked, wishing Asa would join the exchange again, not sit there, frowning.

  “I haven’t heard back,” Noah replied.

  “Where is the town in Illinois?” she asked, trying to come up with another solution.

  “Sterling. A small town near Rockford.”

  Judith worried her lower lip. “That might be a half-day’s ride from my home, my brother’s home.” If she’d heard from her family, she could ask her brother to ride over there and see what he could find. But neither she nor Emma had heard from their father or neighbor.

  “It’s hard with so many people moving around,” Noah said. “I will write again to the postmaster. The first letter might not have reached him.” He looked to Colton. “I was going to check on how you children were faring.”

  Colton didn’t reply in words, but his expression spoke of distrust and resentment. Then, as he watched Asa, Colton asked, “What if Mr. Smith tries to take us back?”

  “I said I won’t let you children go back there,” Asa spoke up.

  “And the community will back this decision,” Noah said.

  Lily relaxed against Judith with a sigh.

  “I think God brought you to the right door, children,” Noah said. “For now. Still, your extended family might be wondering about why they haven’t heard from…your parents.”

  “I like it here,” Lily said, snuggling closer to Judith.

  But Judith didn’t know whether Asa wanted to keep the children or meant to keep them only till other arrangements could be made. Taking on the responsibility of two children when they’d been married a tad over a month might not be wise. She still didn’t understand her husband enough to know what had caused him to take these children in other than their dire necessity and his Christian duty.